I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
