jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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