My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
