His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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