I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
