I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
