Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize