You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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