If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize