if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
