It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize