There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
