Already got asked if we're dating
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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