I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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