Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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