Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
