I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
