Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We are all done wearing pants today
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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