1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
