That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
