he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
