Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i need some magic done to my vagina
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
