Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize