I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
