So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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