Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
