she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
