fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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