i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
