apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
