marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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