yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found puke in my bra..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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