Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
