i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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