it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
