Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
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Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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