So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
