i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
