What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
