we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
