I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize