he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
