I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
