All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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