ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
