Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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