Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
