he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
