You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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