i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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