Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
