do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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