If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize