Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
