He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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