Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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