Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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