The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
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brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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